Apple Arcade review #40: Hogwash
This weekends reviews are almost companion pieces, and if it wasn’t cheating, I’d review them together. But more on LEGO Brawls tomorrow.
Hogwash is a multiplayer game about pigs and farmers. You can either play the pig, and roll around in mud to charge up your, uh, your mud levels, before you go spray the farmer’s house in what I assume is a mix of cow dung and pig droppings. Or you play the farmer, and you try to hose the pigs down before they can do their dark business on your house.
I know. I know.
This is a multiplayer game, so of course I started off in single-player mode, playing one round as the pig (good guys, of course) and one round as the farmer (evil). So far, so blah. Each round felt interminable, with little variety or strategy to the proceedings. I then tried to connect to multiplayer. I tried three times before giving up: there was no one else playing Hogwash anywhere in the world. Or Europe. Or Norway. Wherever the server is located. No one. Not a great sign.
So I didn’t get to test the multiplayer, because I wasn’t going to ask a friend to come “be the pig” for me. Too weird.
I don’t know if I can judge Hogwash fairly, but I tried. It’s really dull in single-player. Maybe it’s fun with other people? I doubt it, but I don’t usually enjoy doing things with other people. Also, the touch controls are not great, and I didn’t give this a spin on the Apple TV. I don’t think a controller would have helped much.
Sorry, cute pig. I hope you eventually win your forever war against that jerk farmer! #TeamHog